Tips for Parents of Toddlers and Newborns.

Having a toddler is hard. Having a newborn is hard. Having a toddler AND a newborn can feel impossible. This is a difficult time in your life. You're trying to bond with your new baby all while feeling the pull of trying to still give your first baby your undivided attention. Lets explore some ways to make your days feel just a little bit easier.

“Play with me!”

There will be times when you are stuck with your baby. You'll be busy nursing or bottle feeding, changing diapers, changing clothes, bouncing a fussy baby or the millions of other tasks that go along with a new tiny human. Finding ways to keep your toddler busy and entertained will make your life much easier and less stressful.

BIG BROTHER/SISTER BIN

Get a large tote and fill it with activities that will hold your toddlers attention while you tend to baby. Keep this tote as a special activity that gets brought out while you are feeding baby or changing a diaper. This will be a life saver when your hands are full and you need to keep them entertained.

Some ideas are to fill this bin are:

Sensory bins – Take some Tupperware and fill them with dry beans/noodles/rice along with some measuring cups and small toys or figurines. This will give them some great sensory play and they will love it!

Balloons – You can blow up a balloon for them and you can pass it back and forth or they can try to keep it off the ground.

Pipe cleaners – I didn't realize this would be such a big hit for my daughter, but it wound up being one of her favorites. She enjoyed wrapping them around pencils to make them into a spring shape, making different shapes and lining them up to make a long train.

Crafts – The craft section at most grocery stores will have so many great craft options. Small wooden figures to paint (Or color if you’re worried about the mess)

GAMES

Simple games like memory or trouble work great. My daughter loved playing trouble. She didn't really understand the game, but she enjoyed popping the dice and she got some practice with learning her numbers.

BOOKS

Books are a great option for when you are feeding baby or they are asleep in your arms. Keeps some books at your toddlers level that they can grab and bring to you. You can snuggle up with both of your kiddos and enjoy some quality time with your toddler while your baby snoozes.

I'M GOING TO SAY IT....TELEVISION

Please don't come after me for this one, or do because I'll stand by it. Some extra screen time in those early days/weeks isn't going to hurt your toddler. Find a few educational shows that keep your toddlers attention. You can interact with them while they are watching the shows. Talk to them about the colors on the screen or what the characters are doing. Or just close your eyes and relax for a few minutes.

“PICK ME UP!”

If you're carrying baby or if you're recovering from a cesarean birth, you wont be able to carry your toddler everywhere. Try making it into a fun game. Have them walk backwards, frog-jump, crab walk or do a silly dance on the way to the car or bathroom. Let them climb into the car and buckle themselves into their car seat. They will take forever and will do it wrong, but you'll have time to get baby settled and then you can fix the buckle.

“I WANT A SNACK”

Toddlers can seem like a bottomless pit devoted only to snacks. Find ways to avoid countless trips to the kitchen. Have a basket of snacks available and accessible to your toddler. Keep this stocked with foods which they can easily eat on their own like apples, clementines, pretzels, dried fruit, granola bars, etc. They'll love feeling more independent and its less work for you.

GET GROCERIES DELIVERED

Grocery delivery is a gift from god! There is no reason to drag a newborn and a toddler to the grocery store if you don't need to. There are several different services available to spare you this hassle. If the extra cost is out of reach for you, ask a friend or family member to shop for you.

HIRE A POSTPARTUM DOULA

Our community is lucky to have some incredible postpartum doulas. They are trained to help with all aspects of new parenthood. Some of the tasks they can help with include, infant feeding, light housekeeping, meal prep, parents self care, and so much more. If hiring a postpartum doula is financially feasible, definitely consider it. My Doula Grand Rapids currently has postpartum doula services available if you are in the West Michigan area.

ASK FOR HELP

This is a hard thing for many new parents. We put this pressure on ourselves to be able to do everything ourselves or feel that we shouldn't ask others to do things for us. It can help to keep a running list of ways people can help handy for when someone asks how you are doing. Start a load of laundry, grab a gallon of milk on the way over, wash dishes, etc. People want to feel helpful and these small things will add up to less stress for you.

SAY NO

Learn to say no to anything that will make your life more difficult. Have family who wants you to watch their kids? Say NO. Work calling you to “just send off a couple emails” while on maternity leave? Say NO. Take a break from being a people pleaser and trying to care for everyone else. You are responsible for caring for your children and yourself, nobody else.

LET GO OF WHAT YOU CAN

Let your toddler dress themselves. Their clothes wont match, they'll be on backwards and they may want to wear the same Elsa dress for 3 weeks straight. Who cares?! Not your toddler, not your baby, and you should try not to care too!

Trust me, you're doing great. Being a parent is hard. You aren’t a failure, you don’t need to “just try harder”, this is just plain hard. Give yourself grace and know that this time doesn't last forever. You will have time for your toddler again, you will be able to put your newborn down eventually and you will feel normal again someday. If I could give you a specific date or time that all of this would get easier, I would. Hang in there and know you aren't alone.

Have other ideas for parents with a toddler and a newborn? I’d love to hear them in the comments below!

”You’ll Learn to lower your expectations about what you can accomplish in a day. Some days it will be all you can do to keep baby safe, warm, fed, and loved, and that is more than enough.”

- ANONYMOUS

HAVE QUESTIONS ABOUT HOW WE CAN HELP YOU HAVE A MORE POSITIVE BIRTH? LET’S CHAT! CONSULTATIONS ARE ALWAYS FREE.