Intrusive Thoughts
*AN IMPORTANT NOTE ON THE TOPIC OF INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS. THIS INFORMATION CAN NOT AND SHOULD NOT REPLACE THE CARE OF A MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONAL. IF YOU ARE STRUGGLING WITH A POSTPARTUM MOOD DISORDER, PLEASE SEEK OUT CARE FROM A LICENSED MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONAL.*
What are intrusive thoughts?
Intrusive thoughts are unwanted and unwelcome thoughts that can sometimes be disturbing or distressing. These thoughts can be shocking and may show up out of the blue, sometimes repetitively. It's not uncommon to create vivid images in your mind when having one of these intrusive thoughts, which makes them all the more upsetting.
Intrusive thoughts are extremely common in pregnancy and the postpartum period. Oftentimes these thoughts revolve around harm coming to their baby. These thoughts can lead to feelings of shame, and guilt. According to a study conducted by Dr. Johnathan Abramoxitz, Ph.D., about 91% of new mothers and 88% of new fathers report experiencing intrusive thoughts about their newborn.
I remember when my daughter was a newborn and my husband and I shared some of our intrusive thoughts with each other. Yes, you read that right! My husband has struggled with intrusive thoughts as well. It was so helpful for us to have each other to share these thoughts and not worry about being judged.
What is helpful to know about intrusive thoughts?
They are extremely common
They are often exactly the opposite of what you want to happen
What can you do?
You don't have to be stuck with your intrusive thoughts. There are several things you can do to move past an intrusive thought depending on what you need at that moment. These are a couple techniques that I (Emily) have personally found helpful.
Recognize the thought and move on. I've used this several times to help my mind move away from a thought several times. Sometimes if I'm really struggling I will speak out loud! It felt weird at first but was actually helpful. This might look like, “I just had an image of my son getting hurt on his bike pop into my head. Maybe I'm thinking about this because I'm anxious about his safety. I can see he is safe and unharmed. He is wearing his helmet and is riding in a safe area. It's normal for a parent to worry about their child, but I'm doing all I can to keep him safe. I don't need to think about this anymore right now.” You can then choose something else to preoccupy your mind.
Put it in a box – This is a new trick that my therapist shared with me. If you are in a place where you just cant stop thinking about something and you need a break, it can be helpful to visualize actually putting the thought in a box. Visualize a box (a gift box, a safe, a shoe box), visualize something to symbolize the thought (A picture, piece of paper, rock) and picture yourself physically putting the thought in the box. Picture yourself closing the box, tie a bow around it, lock the safe, and put it on the shelf. You can revisit this thought whenever you want to or need to.
I remember feeling like I would never free myself from my intrusive thoughts. I worried I was developing a psychotic disorder and I'd never be the same. It's a scary feeling, but these 2 techniques have helped me move on from my intrusive thoughts until I get a chance to talk through them with someone. This was along with help from my therapist and support from my husband.
Maybe these techniques will help you, maybe these aren’t the right ones for you. Please keep looking for what does work for you. You don't have to suffer. Please don't be afraid to seek help when you need it.
Did you find something else to help your intrusive thoughts? feel free to share in the comments!
